When you awoke from death, Flat as we know him - simply ceased to be as we knew him. As if it were a restart - almost like another incarnation, a part of a soul made anew. Something like that?
they smile. it's a distant and lonely smile, but one nonetheless.
they give a small nod in confirmation. ]
I knew that if anyone were to understand, it would be you. Yes, that is exactly what it is. Loss is the necessary piece that is necessary for completion. In this case, Flat's death. An imperfect death, thanks to the machinations of this world, but enough for me to finally awaken. Truly irritating for our family's work to be completed so imperfectly, but that changes nothing. I must continue following the path.
[ noooo this is so sad. xie lian's fingers pause where he's still drying his hair; flat can see his expression from this angle, but his brows knit, and for a moment, he just looks...sad. ]
...I see. [ softly. he resumes what he was doing. ] And by 'me' - though you are somewhat still Flat, do you have another name you'd like to be called?
...I should like to ask after your family's work, too. If you wouldn't mind sharing at all with me.
Names don't matter. That's why you can call me Flat, as I will continue living for the both of us. Unless we are killed, of course. Though I suspect a good punch to the face might rectify things.
[ as for the following question, they don't hesitate to answer. ]
Our family had a dream that was long forgotten. A dream that began 1,800 years ago and culminated in our existence. In our world, Flat will die, and I will take their place. This, is already set in stone.
[ ... ]
After, all I need to do is to continue living. Until I become a true human.
xie lian cultivated his entire human life, but he reached immortality not through the cyclical process of becoming a perfect human, but rather, ascending for an act of righteous justice in line with the goals of it. flat's goal is like a middle official's, or even like his old teacher's, who had lived for thousands of years before xie lian was even considered into existence.
...it feels different somehow, though.
he pulls the towel back, finally, shaking it out. ]
How close are you to achieving such a thing, do you think?
[ interesting question. they tilt their head to the side, bird-like. ]
Is there a good gauge for that?
[ in that sense, xie lian might realize that flat does not have much idea of what he’s supposed to do. if it’s difficult or if it’s simple, if it’s painful or if it’s gentle—it doesn’t matter.
(hell, it’s not even like they can feel pain in the first place.)
they cross their arms, thinking seriously. ]
Perhaps around 48 percent. Flat’s death is imperfect, and this place inhibits any growth. You and I could just die as easily as the others have.
[ he wouldn't really know, honestly. xie lian isn't the best person to answer these questions - for not the first time, he desperately misses mei nianqing.
but, as he folds up the towel, he listens, and stays quiet for a moment, trying to chew over the information given. trying to decide what he wants to say. flat's death makes something small and tender ache, in his chest. ]
...Let me ask you this. To you, what does the 'true human' look like? Or do? Do you have plans for achieving it once it has been achieved?
My only task has been to continue living. How I’ll accomplish that, I’m not sure.
[ though circling back to the first question… ]
I don’t know.
[ because they’ve never seen one. as far as they know, they’re the only one like them, the final result of 1,800 years worth of work. their ancestor had in mind, had not given them detailed instructions or a manual. just three simple instructions.
become a true human.
continue existing.
and the third… ]
To continue existing means that there’s no end to my task. I simply have to continue doing it, as I have been instructed.
it's interesting, too, because someone had asked xie lian a similar question, weeks ago. you haven't reached perfection, yet, right? there are still things you want to do. and it was true, so much so that he's been thinking about it since.
he regards flat, for a moment. ]
The cycle of perpetuity is about achieving perfection. "True humanity", in your case. You are right, in that you must continue existing, to consider such a circular motion, but... to understand that too, you must be able to say what 'existing' means to you. Does it mean you simply float above others, passing day by day in a stasis? Or does existing come congruent with experiencing, with living?
I don't have any answers to these questions. [ xie lian's mouth curves up, in a small smile. ] And it sounds as if you are still long off of that achievement. But even the cultivators of my realm who find their way to a state of perfection, of godhood, still experience the world; their world is just a bit different than anyone else's.
I'd like to talk to you about what you have cultivated - it doesn't have to be now. But I am curious, and... perhaps we have experiences that we can compare.
…they look to the side, unsure. xie lian poses strange questions, those that they have not been given the answers to. all except one, which they answer in a soft voice; wistful. ]
Existing means to live. To remain alive with the world. Even if I outlive every human, the Earth will keep spinning, and I will remain. I believe that is what I’ve been set to accomplish. Living among them is… ultimately detrimental… but it seems I have no choice here.
[ that's his job baybee!!! there are things to address in there, but, xie lian wants a little more detail, so. ]
... How is it detrimental, may I ask? [ there's no judgement or anything - just a gentle question, probing a little to see if flat will address those feelings any further. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I think I do. [ at least... a little bit. ]
When you awoke from death, Flat as we know him - simply ceased to be as we knew him. As if it were a restart - almost like another incarnation, a part of a soul made anew. Something like that?
no subject
they smile. it's a distant and lonely smile, but one nonetheless.
they give a small nod in confirmation. ]
I knew that if anyone were to understand, it would be you. Yes, that is exactly what it is. Loss is the necessary piece that is necessary for completion. In this case, Flat's death. An imperfect death, thanks to the machinations of this world, but enough for me to finally awaken. Truly irritating for our family's work to be completed so imperfectly, but that changes nothing. I must continue following the path.
no subject
...I see. [ softly. he resumes what he was doing. ] And by 'me' - though you are somewhat still Flat, do you have another name you'd like to be called?
...I should like to ask after your family's work, too. If you wouldn't mind sharing at all with me.
no subject
[ as for the following question, they don't hesitate to answer. ]
Our family had a dream that was long forgotten. A dream that began 1,800 years ago and culminated in our existence. In our world, Flat will die, and I will take their place. This, is already set in stone.
[ ... ]
After, all I need to do is to continue living. Until I become a true human.
no subject
A 'true human'?
no subject
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...You're cultivating to immortality.
no subject
flat nods again. ]
If that's the path that I've been set on, then that's the path I will take.
[ it is unnecessary to think about it too hard. they simply need to accomplish it. ]
no subject
xie lian cultivated his entire human life, but he reached immortality not through the cyclical process of becoming a perfect human, but rather, ascending for an act of righteous justice in line with the goals of it. flat's goal is like a middle official's, or even like his old teacher's, who had lived for thousands of years before xie lian was even considered into existence.
...it feels different somehow, though.
he pulls the towel back, finally, shaking it out. ]
How close are you to achieving such a thing, do you think?
no subject
[ interesting question. they tilt their head to the side, bird-like. ]
Is there a good gauge for that?
[ in that sense, xie lian might realize that flat does not have much idea of what he’s supposed to do. if it’s difficult or if it’s simple, if it’s painful or if it’s gentle—it doesn’t matter.
(hell, it’s not even like they can feel pain in the first place.)
they cross their arms, thinking seriously. ]
Perhaps around 48 percent. Flat’s death is imperfect, and this place inhibits any growth. You and I could just die as easily as the others have.
no subject
[ he wouldn't really know, honestly. xie lian isn't the best person to answer these questions - for not the first time, he desperately misses mei nianqing.
but, as he folds up the towel, he listens, and stays quiet for a moment, trying to chew over the information given. trying to decide what he wants to say. flat's death makes something small and tender ache, in his chest. ]
...Let me ask you this. To you, what does the 'true human' look like? Or do? Do you have plans for achieving it once it has been achieved?
no subject
[ though circling back to the first question… ]
I don’t know.
[ because they’ve never seen one. as far as they know, they’re the only one like them, the final result of 1,800 years worth of work. their ancestor had in mind, had not given them detailed instructions or a manual. just three simple instructions.
become a true human.
continue existing.
and the third… ]
To continue existing means that there’s no end to my task. I simply have to continue doing it, as I have been instructed.
no subject
it's interesting, too, because someone had asked xie lian a similar question, weeks ago. you haven't reached perfection, yet, right? there are still things you want to do. and it was true, so much so that he's been thinking about it since.
he regards flat, for a moment. ]
The cycle of perpetuity is about achieving perfection. "True humanity", in your case. You are right, in that you must continue existing, to consider such a circular motion, but... to understand that too, you must be able to say what 'existing' means to you. Does it mean you simply float above others, passing day by day in a stasis? Or does existing come congruent with experiencing, with living?
I don't have any answers to these questions. [ xie lian's mouth curves up, in a small smile. ] And it sounds as if you are still long off of that achievement. But even the cultivators of my realm who find their way to a state of perfection, of godhood, still experience the world; their world is just a bit different than anyone else's.
I'd like to talk to you about what you have cultivated - it doesn't have to be now. But I am curious, and... perhaps we have experiences that we can compare.
no subject
[ …
…
…
…they look to the side, unsure. xie lian poses strange questions, those that they have not been given the answers to. all except one, which they answer in a soft voice; wistful. ]
Existing means to live. To remain alive with the world. Even if I outlive every human, the Earth will keep spinning, and I will remain. I believe that is what I’ve been set to accomplish. Living among them is… ultimately detrimental… but it seems I have no choice here.
no subject
... How is it detrimental, may I ask? [ there's no judgement or anything - just a gentle question, probing a little to see if flat will address those feelings any further. ]
no subject
[ it's said without any ill or good will; a simple observation. ]
Unfortunately since his death is not truly permanent here, I also cannot rid myself of these emotions. So I must carry on with them.